| Author |
Messages |
|
Bekah
Posts:16
 |
| 06/18/2009 1:35 PM |
|
Okay, the whole cheesy thing, I'm a total dork, but I'm going to say this anyway.
If a guy I was dating gave me my very own personal package of colby jack cheese, i would be soooooooo thrilled!! I love that stuff!!
Sorry. Had to say it. 
But on a more serious note, I agree with the whole engagement-rings-degrade-guys thing. Girls who ask for superexpensive rings must not understand the whole point of marriage. Personally, I don't need a gold band with a million-karat diamond in it. I mean, I want him to take care to choose a beautiful ring that will mean a lot to both of us, but I'd be perfectly happy with a simple ring with a pretty stone in it. And I'd rather have a house with my hubby than a ring any day!
|
|
|
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 06/18/2009 4:57 PM |
|
| I just told my friend there's no way I'm going to let him buy everything for me when we're together. Sure it's nice but I my love language is gift giving and I would love to pay for him at times!! Has anyone else done those love language tests? I'm so glad I did, it makes people make alot more sense! |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 06/18/2009 6:12 PM |
|
| Bekah, how would you feel about getting your future fiance something in return? |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 06/19/2009 5:22 AM |
|
LOL actually Bekah, that reminds me of "she's The Man" the movie... the whole "Couda cheese" thing! If y'all haven't seen the movie, watch it! it's awesome! it is so funny!!!
Clare... yeah I've done the love languages thing... mine is aparently physical touch (cuz i really love hugs!) and quality time... but the other 3 were very close...
yeah for me, I dont like it when the guy does EVERYTHING like paying for everything etc... not because I'm a feminist... cuz Im not... but because... i actually have no idea... well i dont think it's fair on him to use all his money on me and I dont ever spend anything on him... |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 06/19/2009 5:23 AM |
|
| oh and Bekah... im the same way with turkish delights |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
Lizzie
Posts:0
|
| 07/02/2009 11:18 AM |
|
I understand your predicament. Honestly, as much as I understand the whole idea of the girls showing their friends their rock, I think guys need to seriously consider why they're buying the expensive ring. Girls need to be easier on the men of this world. It's tough to find the money considering how much rings cost these days, and I think girls need to understand when a guy doesn't buy the most expensive ring in the store. (And this comment is from a girl)  Also, if you look hard enough, you can find nice rings for decent prices. Girls, let's look at this from a guy's point of view and treasure whatever they choose to give us because it's from the guy we love. |
|
|
|
|
Bekah
Posts:16
|
| 07/02/2009 12:06 PM |
|
I would definitely be willing. One of my "love languages" is gift giving, so I'd love to get my guy something.
One of my friends from church exchanged promise rings with her boyfriend last year and I thought it was cool that they both took the time and money to get rings, not just the guy.
|
|
|
|
|
Bekah
Posts:16
|
| 07/02/2009 12:07 PM |
|
Hee hee
|
|
|
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/02/2009 5:42 PM |
|
| that's what my brother did too. I like the promise rings idea |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/02/2009 7:40 PM |
|
| Haha, while I do like the concept of promise rings, they've always been sort of a funny thing to me. First we had wedding rings, then engagement rings and wedding rings, now we have promise rings, engagement rings and wedding rings. Pretty soon there will be the "we just got together ring," the "first date ring," and the "'Hey, you're cute' ring." |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/03/2009 12:46 AM |
|
You're so sarcastic David! jk. What you say is true. But there's a bigger picture. My brother can't afford to get married, and those rings will be engagement rings someday when they are engaged, right now they are dubbing as purity rings and so others know they aren't available. I don't want to sound mean or pick on you, but you are kind of against rings! You'll probably get a girl that wants a ring of every kind Most girls wouldn't mind a "Hey your cute ring" from their guy!! |
|
|
|
|
Cayla Renae
Posts:58
|
| 07/06/2009 12:29 PM |
|
| Promise rings are a strange concept to me... if you're not ready to be engaged to be married, why are you promising your life to someone? It just seems like a premature commitment, in my mind. I don't mean to offend anyone by this, by the way. |
|
~created by the King to do good things~ |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/06/2009 6:13 PM |
|
| Haha, yes, I can be sarcastic sometimes, but I don't mean to be mean or anything. I'm actually not against symbolic rings, if handled properly. My problem is when the symbolism gets lost in vanity. Truth be told, I probably couldn't date a jewelry obsessed girl. However, if her love of jewelry was at a more, how shall we say, normal level, I'd be alright with that. The ironic thing about everything I say about engagement rings is that I fully intend to buy my future fiance one. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/06/2009 6:13 PM |
|
| Haha, yes, I can be sarcastic sometimes, but I don't mean to be mean or anything. I'm actually not against symbolic rings, if handled properly. My problem is when the symbolism gets lost in vanity. Truth be told, I probably couldn't date a jewelry obsessed girl. However, if her love of jewelry was at a more, how shall we say, normal level, I'd be alright with that. The ironic thing about everything I say about engagement rings is that I fully intend to buy my future fiance one. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/06/2009 6:14 PM |
|
| Oops, I didn't mean to post that twice. And Cayla Renae makes a great point. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Zachariah
Posts:6
|
| 07/07/2009 4:46 PM |
|
| ummm o k nt getting a girl a ring is like the dumbest idea ever....its nt about the price of the ring and alot of the times it doesn't even have everything to do w/ the symbolism of the ring...its the fact that rings are expensive which does mean sacrifice...it means that if you value the girl enough to sacrifice your time and money its a sweet thing to do...if she is going to marry you the ring isn't going to be the difference maker all that matters is that it is a sweet thing to do...its like buying her flowers except the ring will last forever...i am not saying you have to sacrifice alot to get an expensive ring just that you have to put some effort into it just like you did into her.....thats just my opinion |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/07/2009 5:05 PM |
|
Zachariah, how do girls symbolically show their willingness to sacrifice for us?
And if they don't, do you see anything wrong with a symbolic societal expectation that one gender should have to sacrifice for the other, but that the other gender should not have to for the former? Does this not seem to you a disproportionate allocation of worth reflective of a long growing greatly damaging trend in gender relations?
if she is going to marry you the ring isn't going to be the difference maker
It might (hopefully, you'd be surprised) not be the difference maker in her acceptance of rejecting the proposal, but it certainly will be the difference maker in her satisfaction with the proposal. I ask you this, Zachariah, why is a guy, by himself, not enough? |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Zachariah
Posts:6
|
| 07/07/2009 5:55 PM |
|
| o k 1st of all you can call me Zach. 2ndly ummm girls symbolically give everything they have and submit to thier husbands so i think that could be called sacrifice. As for your other questions they dont rele count cuz women do sacrifice sybolically.....nd yes the guy by himself is enough it is just a nice gesture...ummm the ring will never be the difference maker in the satisfaction the satisfaction is the time place ect of the proposal...i think all of it ultimately depends on the kind of girl you have if you get a girl that loves you for you there is no need to worry about it she does not rele care...o k if she is a little dissapionted that is just the way life is im sure guys would rather her have the body of Jessica Alba (maybe lol) bt the reality is that both parters could always want more the whole purpose of the relationship is to make things the best they can be not perfect....and on a different point yes you spend money on a ring but once you are married everything hers is yours and vise versa so it shouldn't matter....the focus in a girls mind is not souly the ring and proposal bt the whole marriage wedding and "happily ever after" |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/08/2009 5:34 PM |
|
girls symbolically give everything they have and submit to thier husbands so i think that could be called sacrifice.
Yes, that is a sacrifice, but not a symbolic sacrifice. Men sacrifice for their wives in the same way. I am asking you if you can see any symbolic sign of a woman's sacrifice to her man, such as the man, as you say, giving a ring to the woman.
As for your other questions they dont rele count cuz women do sacrifice sybolically
This you have not shown, rendering my previous questions valid.
nd yes the guy by himself is enough it is just a nice gesture...ummm the ring will never be the difference maker in the satisfaction the satisfaction is the time place ect of the proposal...
If the girl is in any way disappointed or experiences any negative emotion in regards to the proposal due to a lack of engagement ring or there not being flowers or soft music or whatever, then yes, the guy is not enough by himself. You say the "time, place, etc. of the proposal;" here you are describing the setting. The engagement ring is a part of the overall romantic setting, which means it is included in your own description of the satisfaction maker/breaker. I say either the girl should be expected to give a guy some physical sign, or do away with the practice altogether. Why is that wrong?
.i think all of it ultimately depends on the kind of girl you have if you get a girl that loves you for you there is no need to worry about it she does not rele care.
I think many of the responses here on this thread will testify to the fact that even a good, decent girl who genuinely loves her guy still cares about receiving a ring, and would be greatly disappointed at the lack of one.
o k if she is a little dissapionted that is just the way life is im sure guys would rather her have the body of Jessica Alba (maybe lol)
The way life is and the way life should be are often very different. Live being a certain way does not mean we shouldn't discuss or strive for how it should be. Also, in response to your example of Jessica Alba, the interesting thing to note is that, in accordance with social norms, a guy is expected never to make such a comment (about wanting his girl to have a better body), but a girl could rail on and on about a guy not getting her an engagement ring. If the parallel you draw is valid, you have unknowingly hit upon a severe double standard.
and on a different point yes you spend money on a ring but once you are married everything hers is yours and vise versa so it shouldn't matter
How does this relate?
the focus in a girls mind is not souly the ring and proposal bt the whole marriage wedding and "happily ever after"
Again, the responses here on this thread by good, decent girls proves that the ring is certainly a factor in her focus.
I'm not trying to attack or be rude here. I am merely trying to have a conversation |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/08/2009 6:06 PM |
|
Hey, David, I'm curious why you feel so strongly about this, and then say that you are planning on buying one anyway?
=] |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
|