| Author |
Messages |
|
Hey-K47
Posts:1
 |
| 01/08/2009 12:47 AM |
|
Hello all those out there..
ok nah seriosuly ok wussup guys..and girls. Yeh i jus made an account, on this website adn i have about a zillion questions t oask you girls out ther, due t omy time being finite lol ill just ask a few of my biggest concerns.
and btw yes i am a guy
ok so number 1..
girls, my biggest fear is asking a girl out...and when i say asking her out i mean the steps.
A)How do i tell if she is ready for a boyfriend
B)Say i am an average jo, but ido care about women...what are the odds of me getting an opportunity with one of you right there and then if i display affection and friendly love towards you
C)I play football and God has blessed me with very good speed and basically a knack for the game, would girls like me only because of that and if not why do so many go after the jocs and the captains and good looks..i know every1 wanst sum1 attractive but it seems that a select few "hott" (as girls would say) guys always land all 97% of the girls..not to mention i attend a Christian private school...
So girls i am asking you,
what can i do to show you that i find you such amazing, comlpex yet facinating creatures from God. You are each beautiful and i love you all as sisters in Christ. I am lookin for one relatioship with a christian young lady and it seems they all (despite their values and morals) go for teh bad boy. i read the book FYMO and it still seems that even though i try t olisten togirls and show real interests they are not attracted to me eve nas good friends. they seem t ohang around the same guys..who of course are the most popular and good looking. i hope all girls are not like this =(.
if so then i guesse theres reall is no hope for me lol |
|
|
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 01/08/2009 4:24 AM |
|
Hmmmmmmm. O.k.
So part A:
it's hard to tell if a girl is ready for a boyfriend, becuase half the time, the girl doesnt even know. She doesnt know if she can trust a guy, but yeah... (I'm 20 in a few months... so i dont know heaps...)
Part B:
I think you have just as much of a chance with girls as any other guy. Not all girls are shallow (btw how old are these girls you mention, because at like 12-15/16 girls can be quite obsessed with popular guys, but as they get older, they tend to go for more genuine guys. i should know, I was an obsessive 12-16yr old girl lol)
Part c:
I dont think girls would only like you because of that. I mean I do like sporty guys, but if a guy cant hold a conversation or if he has no personality and no brains at all... I dont think Id like him much...
I think girls all go through a phase of liking the "HOTT" guys (sorry about calling them that, it's so demeaning...) Maybe they go for his confidence?? I donno. Not all girls go for the Jocks or Captians. and it's a little weird that if you go to a christian school that the girls are gag over the "popular" guys... I went to a christian school, but then again, there werent any awesome guys within my age range... (just so you know, Im a dancer/cheerleader/gymnast.... so yeah, not all "cheerleader types" go for captians...)
As for the last part...
Be a girl's friend. Girls love having guy friends (and alot of the time, girls end up falling for their guy friends.) Show them you care and that you're there for them and give them advice on guys. If you're open with them, they'll be open with you.
I'll admit... Whenever I watched a tv program or cartoon, my favorite male character was always the BadBoy... but ultimately, any girl worth your time would rather have a godly, honest, caring man in her life than a scumbag...
That is so sad if girls arent even willing to befriend you. I cant understand it. Like even if I could never see a guy as a boyfriend etc, Id still be willing to be his friend, and there are so many girls out there who would love to be friends with lots of guys.
Trust God, you'll find a decent, non shallow godly young lady who's just absolutely perfect for you. We just have to be patient with God's timing. (Im still waiting lol)
And there is hope for you. just trust in the G.O.D. he has everything under control!
 Hope I could help
Oh and maybe Will, or Emily, you could add in whatever I missed out?? |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
mac
Posts:26
|
| 01/08/2009 4:41 AM |
|
i posted this in another discussion a while ago and this was my reason for going for a "bad" guy... because at least in my situations those types of guys seem to be more outgoing and confident, especially with girls and they will actually make a move.. even though you would most likely go for the nice guy; he is the one that is more shy and not likely to tell you he is interested... i realized a couple months ago how easily i could have fallen for a "bad" guy, but a really good friend told me, " There are two types of men in the world that offer adventure: The godly guy will offer God's adventure that is deep and satisfying that will never run out and the bad guy who will offer the thrill of the moment but in the end the adventure will fizzle out leaving the girl disillusioned." at the time it was exactly what i needed to hear and in the future every time i feel myself wanting a guy that i know is not God's best i am gonna remember that and also to NEVER SETTLE, ALWAYS DEMAND GOD'S BEST!!
i can't fully explain to you why girls do this, but after having that wake up call i know that i can't ever let myself fall for a bad guy... and all girls are not like that although a lot of time it definitely seems like it; i think that all girls are attracted to bad guys for the thrill of the moment, but in the end they will always go for the good guy...
i just want to tell u dude to just be you and confident and don't change for any girl cuz if they don't like u for who u are then they aren't worth your time... i really hoped this helped and didn't confused you more.. later....  |
|
|
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 01/08/2009 4:59 AM |
|
AMEN to that Mac!
Totally be yourself!!! Never compromise and always go for God's best!
Much Love (Aroha Nui) |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:189
|
| 01/08/2009 12:17 PM |
|
That last bit made me smile, every girl wants to be told she's beautiful =] <--smile haha anyway... I'd say the only way you'll know if the girl is ready for a bf is if you ask her and she says yes ;-] Like Jojo said, sometimes girls don't even really know.
I'm assuming you mean opportunity to go out with the girl- for me, the guys interest will make me at least consider being interested in the guy. Just don't, for example, start playing with the girls hair after only meeting her twice, looking deep into her eyes after a week, *ahem* etc. haha true story...
If a girl only likes you because you're good at something you do- well you have to decide if you're okay with that or if you want someone who also appreciates who you are. Beautiful guys (and girls) seem to have this confidence that is just who they are, and that motivates them to try things without worrying about succeeding and proving themselves; and of course that no-pressure personality is always fun to be around. |
|
"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
|
|
emilyjanelle
Posts:510
|
| 01/08/2009 2:58 PM |
|
alrighty, K47, here's my input.
question 1: She doesn't know if she can trust a guy. yup. half (make that most) of the time, that's the reason. especially the kind of girl you've said you're looking for. she's going to be clinging to her parents/girl friends/God/even her past. she won't be sure if she's ready for such a drastic step. and the only way you can know for sure? ask her and her parents, if they're in the picture. even better than she can explain, her parents will, if they're involved in her life. they'll usually point stuff out to you that explains why she is why she is, if you sincerely ask if they think she's ready for a relationship.
Q 2: displaying affection and friendly love (as in being a good friend, right?) are two of the keystones to a girl's heart. besides the obvious - being Godly always and not just when she's around, those other two will really hook her. not "mega-flirting", as i like to call it when it's just like, "GAG ME!", or stifling your potential friendship with overly-conscious remarks about her. just be yourself and see what goes where.
Q 3: same for me, i don't see why girls usually go for the jocks or preps, except that they exert confidence. but it's usually a false hope, because in a few months (or weeks) the girl realizes that the guy is a moron. not to say that all jocks are, but many guys that seem very confident, really aren't.
K47, we ladies have the same problem in our arena. we see guys going after the girls who're known to "get around" and only wear anything too low, too short, or too tight. why not me?, we wonder. but the puppy love romances fizzle out quickly and reality sets into us all.
keep to God's plan and you'll run into some absolutely gorgeous, Godly, humorous, modest, lovely girl who'll capture you like no other. and all those other jocks with their preppy girlfriends will seem like a joke compared to what you got. :] |
|
You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
|
|
artyprincess
Posts:226
|
| 01/08/2009 6:07 PM |
|
Wow - there are some REALLY good responses on here!
I would say, first and foremost, just try to be friends with girls. Don't rush anything! Make sure you really, genuinely like her before you ask her out. And beware too, she may tell you to run it by her dad first!!
Not all girls go for the bad boy. If they are girls worth getting, they should be able to see through his exterior. We assess you guys as much as you assess us, we just sometimes choose to think, 'he looks perfect, therefore he is perfect'.
And not every girl is going to fall for you straight away even if you do try to listen to her, show interest in her, etc. We're not perfect either! Maybe the girls you hang around are a bit clouded in their thinking? They may not see yet that where the the 'average joes' lack in looks, they more than make up for in personality.
I hope that helps!
|
|
God Can. |
|
|
Austin
Posts:49
|
| 01/08/2009 8:47 PM |
|
| Hey, bro. As far as girls going for the jocks, many girls go for the popular guys, but there are plenty of girls out there who care deeply about other things that are way more important. And have you ever thought about talking to girls outside of your school? I go to a private school as well, and we have 27 seniors in our class. I don't see myself ever dating any of the girls there. They are just not right for me. I am currently courting a girl from the large public school where I live. We just had our first date Sunday, actually. Anyway. I suggest talking to girls. Just get to know them and listen to what they have to say. Just get comfortable talking to girls in general, because girls love a guy they can have a real conversation with. So make sure she's the kind of girl you want to date, first. Don't go pursuing a relationship just because you want a relationship. Wait until you find just one exceptional girl and go for her. Make sure you show genuine interest in her and make her feel really special. Most importantly: listen, pick up on her emotions and feelings (even though it can seem impossible sometimes). But as they say, there are other fish in the sea lol... Just don't go looking for love, love will find you as you meet people and really get to know them. |
|
God is HUGE, and he loves me. |
|
|
Hannahgotit
Posts:20
|
| 01/09/2009 8:14 PM |
|
| Haha, I love the responses on here. I kno that lokks catch peoples attention, but alot of my friends get on to me sometimes and tease me b/c i like the guys who tend to have more personality than looks. If you are nice and funny and have a good personality, and you have at least a little bit of looks you can find a nice girl lookin for someone just like you. I may sound silly but i pray for my future husband and that he will wait and pray for me as i do for him. So idk what age you are but don't rush things. and.....Be yourself |
|
<3 Hannah
2 Chronicles 20:21
After consulting the people, the king appointed singers to walk ahead of the army, singing to the Lord and praising him for his holy splendor. This is what they sang:
“Give thanks to the Lord;
his faithful love endures forever!”
|
|
|
Eddi
Posts:4
|
| 01/25/2009 3:51 PM |
|
ok this may sound really cliche (if thats how you spell it. sry) nywho but i really believe this. you shouldnt be "looking" for a relationship dude. seriously. its God's job to bring the person He has planned for you. you dont have to worry about it. He's got the most perfect girl for you. He is helping her grow closer to Him and hopefully you are growing closer to Him also. as i said. its not your job to "find your mate" or find someone to have a relationship with. your job is to simply prepare yourself for the time when God brings this girl to you.and by preparing yourself i mean studying God's word, involving yourself in ministry, and learning how to do your own laundry if you dont already. lol. and by the way. speaking from experience. there is nothing more attractive to a girl than a guy who has his faith in God, and is not worried about or always looking for who he is going to date. that is what is most attractive to me. a guy who is content with his life as it is and content to wait for God's timing. that is much better than any of the phony "good-looks" "popular" rubbish.
God bless you brother,
Eddi |
|
|
|
|
artyprincess
Posts:226
|
| 01/27/2009 12:24 AM |
|
Yeah, Eddi, that's true. BUT: if the guys are too laid back, and thinking that God is literally going to drop some girl in their laps, they may miss her because they did nothing about it. Now, I'm not saying you're implying that. Don't get me wrong here! Girls want the guys to initiate the relationship, but if the guys are all standing around not noticing, thinking that the girl for them is going to just magically appear...... well, it's not gonna happen! And I'm certainly not saying guys should run around after every girl just in case, but that there needs to be a middle point. Yes, guys should focus on God and get their priorities straight with Him, and learn how to do laundry :p but they also need to be aware that God may want them to take a bit of initiative in a relationship.
my .02c.........
|
|
God Can. |
|
|
Daughter of Zion
Posts:60
|
| 01/28/2009 11:38 AM |
|
everything that i was going to say has been said already. But anyway, I think that a guy and a girl need to get to know each other better first before any relationship beyond friendship happens. I think that you need to see each other in different settings and situations to see how they act and react in different settings. ex: you, the girl you like, and a group of your friends go bowling; you and the girl you like go over to someone's house to play board games; you and the girl you like go to the movies with two other people, etc. But before you try to take any steps towards a bf/gf relationship, you need to ask God about the relationship.
|
|
Because I was created by God and for His glory, I will magnify Him as I respond to His great love. My desire is to make knowing and enjoying God, the passionate pursuit of my life. - Louie Giglio
|
|
|
Mike
Posts:89
|
| 01/28/2009 11:17 PM |
|
| I agree. You should be best friends before you consider a dating relationship (or anything else for that matter). You should know each other fairly well, and have discussed at length your faith and your goals in life (or in other words, know each other well) And you shouldn't exclude your other friends when you're dating somebody either. |
|
|
|
|
Eddi
Posts:4
|
| 01/29/2009 12:17 PM |
|
hey artyprincess, you are definitely right that the guy should initate the relationship. no arguement to that. i guess what i really want to get across is that the most important thing for the guy to be looking for is a girl who is tight with God. a girl who isnt just looking for a date with the football captain to make herself look better (not that anybody who dates the football captain is shallow or anything no offense) but a girl who is genuinly working for God's glory. i heard it put this way once. when you are ready for a mate (emphasis on the word MATE not GIRLFRIEND) when you are ready to get married you simply run the race of th Christian life (i.e. being in ministry, growing in your walk with God, etc.) then you look around and see who is keeping up with you.
lots of love,
Eddi |
|
|
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 01/29/2009 7:48 PM |
|
Hey Eddi! That is an awesome concept! I think Ill tell my girls at youth that one, and Ill get my bro to tell the guys it too!! Its a great way of looking at it!!!
God Bless!! |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 01/29/2009 7:57 PM |
|
Hey Eddi! That is an awesome concept! I think Ill tell my girls at youth that one, and Ill get my bro to tell the guys it too!! Its a great way of looking at it!!!
God Bless!! |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
Nicole
Posts:552
|
| 03/16/2009 12:43 AM |
|
| Wow, i have to say that you guys have great answers. It is a couple months later in the writing, but I just wanted to put my 2 cents in. I agree wholeheartedly that you should consider friendship before dating. You really get to know the girl/guy without all the pomp and ceremony of the actual dating "ambiance"(some girls tend to be more "perfect" around their boyfriends than in reality). As far as the jock for a boyfriend, to be bluntly honest, I find that so cliché. Personally, he better have a deep relationship with God if i'm going to consider dating him. To give you a heads up, Hey-K47, i can honestly say that there are plenty of girls out there that go for character rather than outward appearance or popularity. As far as the 'bad boy' concept goes, I must say that it's the confidence, the independence, his will to go for a challenge that attracts us girls, or at least me. |
|
whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
|
|
MyLifeHisWill
Posts:184
|
| 03/16/2009 7:13 AM |
|
| Hey! I read this a long time ago before I even got an account and now that Nicole decided to add to it, I figured I would too lol. Yea, basically I think most of us on here vew relationships rather similarly. I definately think friendship before "more than" is EXTREMELY important. You need to know the person you are getting intimate with. And you should NEVER go into a relationship EXPECTING it to end - ever. God plans for us to be with ONE man (or in your case woman), not jumping around from person to person seeking out "Mr./Mrs. Right." I have a boyfriend, and yes I am probably too young to say I wanna marry him, but I do. We were best friends for about a year and a half/ two years before he told me he liked me, and even then it wasn't a formal "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing. That was nearly 6 months ago and now we are finally getting to the stage of "official", but even after he said he liked me (I had liked him secretly for months) we took some time moving from "friends" to "more than." It wasn't an overnight thing and we still dont hold hands or anything like that. So basically my advice to you is find a good friend and TAKE IT SLOOOOOW. No need to rush. Especially in high school. And never go out looking for a girl just to have a girl, wait, expect, and find a girl with the intention of FOREVER. |
|
I don't want to just "live" I want to experience life. |
|
|
Bekah
Posts:16
|
| 04/26/2009 2:31 PM |
|
Thanks for being so honest. These are really good questions and I'd be glad to help you out. (I'm a high school age Christian girl, just so ya know.)
A) It's hard to tell when a girl is ready for a boyfriend because a lot of times, at least with my experience, we don't know ourselves! So I don't really have a good answer for this one...I guess I would say, get to know the girl really well as a friend first. If she welcomes the attention you give her and seems confident and friendly around guys in general, then chances are she's a good candidate for a girlfriend. Of course, she could just be a naturally confident girl who's fine being single. I would watch out for girls that seem insecure, though. Girls who flirt like crazy and dress suggestively and drool over guys' attention may seem desperate for a boyfriend, but in reality, they're just insecure and aren't ready for a serious relationship.
B) You sound like a guy with a true heart for God and for the young women in your life, and though I obviously can't tell through your one post what you're really like, I'm guessing that you're doing all the right things. Just be respectful towards girls, and make an effort to be friends with a variety of them. God will bring the right one to you in time. She will be worth waiting for!
C) I hate living in this time period in this country as a teen girl, because it seems like all most of us care about is what a guy looks like. We are under so much pressure to look good, be popular, and date the good-looking, popular guys. It's really sad, because 99% of the time, the guys with the purest hearts are the ones who aren't the super hot jocks or whatever. Don't fall for girls who flirt with the hottest guys. They're not worth it. Like I said in letter B, wait for a girl who will love you for you. (Yes, many girls are jerks, but many are not! Wait for a non-jerk!)
So overall, I think you're doing the right thing by being kind to girls. I'm sure you've heard this before, but I think there are three main things you can do to impress the right kind of girl:
1. Listen to her. So cliche, I know, but it's so true. I admire a guy who will ask me how I'm doing, or ask what's wrong, or ask what's good in my life, and just listen to me, and laugh with me, and cry with me.
2. Respect her. We're so good at disrespecting ourselves in order to gain faulty "respect" from people around us. Show girls genuine respect for who they are and what they stand for, and they will appreciate it more than you could ever know. I would.
3. Be spontaneous and romantic! If you like a girl, first establish a friendship, and then do little acts of kindness to show her how you feel. Bring her flowers, send her a sweet note, come see her game...do little things like that, and she will catch on. (And possibly fall madly in love with you.)
Wow, this is really long. haha sorry. I hope I helped you out.
|
|
|
|
|
maddiegirl
Posts:210
|
| 05/24/2009 8:15 PM |
|
welcome 2 the site
ok i copied & pasted & then typed in mah own answers so here u go:::
A)How do i tell if she is ready for a boyfriend
Answer: if she acts normal around guys, not constantly giggling and acting generally immature. if she has other guy friends who she's really friends w/, not just acquaintances. If she's had a bf before (maybe, BIG maybe). if she can carry a conversation with anyone, adult or teen. there are a lot more things i could put, but i think the biggest one is if she has good guy friends, not just girlfriends.
B)Say i am an average jo, but ido care about women...what are the odds of me getting an opportunity with one of you right there and then if i display affection and friendly love towards you
Answer: i think it depends on the girl. the majority of girls dont go 4 the uber hot-jock-football player dude. they go 4 the nice but normal guy (well special to them ) so id say just be yourself and dont try to act all cool or w/e. just be yourself. girls like a guy who is friendly, caring, honest, not conceited, and is himself. so dont try to b someone else to get the girls to lyk u...........if she lykes u, she does. if not, then move on.
C)I play football and God has blessed me with very good speed and basically a knack for the game, would girls like me only because of that and if not why do so many go after the jocs and the captains and good looks..i know every1 wanst sum1 attractive but it seems that a select few "hott" (as girls would say) guys always land all 97% of the girls..not to mention i attend a Christian private school...
Answer: lol i kinda just totally knocked the whole football thing, so just kno i dont have anything against football players & im sure your a great go. so dont take what i said b4 about football players personally. the guy im in a relationship w/ is a football playr. with that said......
girls generally dont like a guy just because of his looks & social status popularity. so it could b that the girls just like u 4 u, which, if u have a great personality & attitude, could b y ur so popular. so the girls probably like u 4 u. on the other hand, if a girl is shallow & only into the popularity of having u as a boyfriend, that could b y some girls like u. but those grls arent worth the tym b/c theyll drop ya as soon as ur not popular. so stick w/ the girls who like u 4 u. the "uberhotjockcaptanofthefootballteam" guys dont usually land all the girls, unless the girls r just in it 4 the popularity or other reasons. so dont lose hope.
and i think Christian private skewls r kewl i go 2 1 so dont knock it lol
So girls i am asking you,
what can i do to show you that i find you such amazing, comlpex yet facinating creatures from God. You are each beautiful and i love you all as sisters in Christ. I am lookin for one relatioship with a christian young lady and it seems they all (despite their values and morals) go for teh bad boy. i read the book FYMO and it still seems that even though i try t olisten togirls and show real interests they are not attracted to me eve nas good friends. they seem t ohang around the same guys..who of course are the most popular and good looking. i hope all girls are not like this =(.
if so then i guesse theres reall is no hope for me lol |
|
|
|
|
|